Category Archives: Uncategorized

Update

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Okay. So I’m aware that I haven’t undated you all in so long. My r for skinny shit went out the window, along with my new years resolutions. I am still vegan and around 3 months strong. Weirdly tho, ive been recovering. I’m so fucking scared about how I’m gaining weight and I wish I could go back to how I was but at the same time, I like being in control, without ana fighting for my place… even if she is still in the back of my mind.

I’m sorry for not being active… I haven’t on my pro ana instagram either. I’m getting fatter which is getting me more depressed but I’m finally getting away from ana. I’m happy with that atleast. Even if she comes back later on, I know I can do this and get out all over again.

Love you all x

Veganism!

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I’ve been vegan for a day and a half now… doesn’t sound that good but for me, it is.

This way, I can avoid most chocolates and foods as most contain milk.

Also, if I choose to eat vegan chocolate, they usually sneak veggies into the product as a substitute. Like avocado for example.

So hopefully, I will be able to loose weight or stay healthy and save animals at the same time! Ahah.

Now let’s see how long I can actually keep this up for…
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Out of control.

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My eating it literally out of control.

I don’t fast, I don’t eat healthy,

I don’t binge and then purge,

I eat.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know I’ll gain weight and look fatter than I already do but I don’t have the energy or determination like I did before. Idk what’s wrong with me.

Mono success!

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I only did it for a day but I managed to loose 2 lbs!  I’m pretty happy with that. Only 3lbs to loose until my first goal weight. I was able to lie about going out for dinner and lunch yesterday, however I know today I won’t be able to do that. But Yeh. I do recommend it if you are able to do it right. :)☺:)

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To simply not eat the food, avoid the food.

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School tomorrow and that’s usually where I tend to get my urges to buy endless amounts of sugary, fatty foods, packed full of calories. To avoid this, I packed my own lunch for once.

It comes to about a billion calories but don’t worry. I packed chocolate which my friends will happily eat, some crisps that my mum will see but I will get rid of that tomorrow, some cucumber that I can alow myself to eat and a sandwich which I have but a sheet of paper in so I can throw it away and will be reminded by the paper if i forget.

It sounds pretty sad but will hopefully only come to about 10 calories.

I also left myself a little note saying ‘stop. Ana is watching’ just as a little motivation.

Feeling strong 🙂
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Ana always wins.

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I’ve been inactive for a little while… not for the simple reasons of ‘I was busy’. God I wish that was true.

In fact,  it’s the complete opposite.

These past few days, I have done absuloutly nothing… Apart from feeling  super guilty.

I kept having these binges where I would eat and eat until I felt sick and not even throw it up. It would be about 3000 calories a day. Why? I thought I was good.

For some reason, I had the strangest thought that I could actually beat ana? That I could show her that she can’t control me… that I was stronger than her. However, it has left me worse than before.

I would always feel great.  Like.. maybe I could recover now? I mean, I know I’m not skinny but I don’t give a fuck. I like food. Ana has just Been starving me… and for no reason. I never lost any weight. So why bother?

Until I came to the obvious realisation that ana was right all along.

I then weighed myself and realised that I have gained 2 lbs

I now hate myself more than before.

And that’s why i haven’t been active, I’ve been so ashamed.

Sorry all but I’m back now 😘😙😚

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